It Hurts

I feel

Your presence, oh Lord

It weighs down on my soul

I know I can feel it

It hurts

It’s so deep

It’s too beautiful to look at

Perhaps that’s why some people have

a hard time excepting you

We’re supposed to fear you, right?

Your ways higher than our ways,

Your thoughts higher than our thoughts?

Of course we’d be terrified,

willing or unwilling to let your presence

take control of our lives,

allowing you to take hold and let the

unimaginable occur in our tiny lives

We are so uncomprehending of

your might and glory

We are so completely unaware of

the years to come but you are

already there

Your presence is enough

Your presence is heavy and powerful

It bursts through the seams of this troubled

planet

No matter how hard I try to forget you,

when times are bad and the hurt settles in,

I can feel your presence banging at the door

of my heart

It hurts and it’s terrifying

but somehow through the pain, I always

know that you are there,

even if I try to convince myself

that you are not

Some people would say that if it hurts,

ignore it; let it go

But it’s not that kind of hurt

The only way I know how to describe it

would be the pain of someone who

loves you so deeply and passionately

and unwavering, that they are straining

to break through the barriers you’ve put up

against them

You know that they love you even if

it hurts,

even if you let them in or not,

you will always know that they are on

your side

It probably hurts so much because we tiny

humans have never felt that kind of

powerful love that moves mountains

just to please us,

whether we’re paying attention or not.

We don’t ever expect anyone to feel so

much for us, as much as you do, Father

I want to thank you, Father, for being with

me always, even though I don’t always

realize or even appreciate it

and even though I know

I don’t deserve it

You love me anyway,

and maybe that’s why

It hurts.

*Original date written: January 1st, 2017

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