This was for my British Literature class. We were doing an assignment for Burns Supper. My task was to make a toast for the lads; giving them praise for the attributions they present in this society while making fun or mentioning their faults. Though it sounds as if I am bashing the women, I am actually dissing men; at the same time, I am not actually being totally serious. This was just for fun.
Admiration for the Lads
A toast for the lads, whose presence in today’s society is both amiable and proud. Today it is my utmost pleasure to identify the particular features of interest that are of most value to the toast at hand. I would like to dedicate this toast to all the lads that ever were that ever crossed a lassies path in an attempt to woo or defend. Everyone that ever lived had that of a male presence to guide and protect, whether it be a father, husband, brother, an uncle or a son. Though every man is different in their own way, we are here to celebrate the ways in which we can be guaranteed in the ways in which all lads are alike.
There never was such a lad who did not wear that sheath of protectiveness and responsibility when it came to his lassie. We can always feel secure when we know that our lad is nearby. Whether it be father or husband, though it may be fair to categorize them as the same, since it is often said that lassies tend to marry lads that parallel their patriarch, or whether it be uncles or brothers, they will always persevere in maintaining a lassies state of belonging. We thank our gracious lads who bless us with their love and care for us that what way can we show our gratitude but by serving them and taking care of them in the simplest ways that a woman can. We must respect the great lengths in which our lad would go to procuring and retaining us lowly women.
When all is said and done, no matter what he says or does, we are never to be unappreciative of our lads. For what is the act of fetching things or cleaning up after them, while they are always on their guard protecting us from dangers unknown. We must be grateful for their ever-watching eye on dangers that lurk as well as being able to fare those same dangers to bless us with a place to keep. It is indeed a chivalrous thing for a lad to do, if there ever was such a thing.
It is a pleasant notion to know and feel as those you are loved, whether it be by lad or lassie, and the tender words of affirmation are a great blessing indeed, if words alone could do such a thing. Though we may toil away to please our lad, dooly so because of the wondrous affordability they grant us, the reassurance after a hard day’s work is a great kindness. Though actions are proof of love, words tell us what we wish to hear. Our lads are certainly wondrous with their kind, pleasing words.
So, with final great reverence, we remember and thank our lads for the great sacrifices of their lives to love, care and protect us, with hardly a thing of reimbursement for their actions and words. We lassies are truly forever grateful to you lads. We are especially appreciative for your incredible aptitude in hearing a toast that manifests itself in such a trivial manner, compared to the words in which you speak.
This version of my Toast for the Lads, is without the added poems of Robert Burns. To view the complete version, click link below.